Kicking Back

 At the end of the day, it is necessary to unwind, to let go. You are, after all, a human. We are, after all, a cyclical creature. We are, after all, finite. There is always much to be done, and yet there's always a larger point of view to observe that all of this is miniscule and insignificant.

There is something to be noted when thinking of a looming dissertation deadline is something that actually relaxes you. Pondering it, I came to a conclusion that at a certain time, there is just nothing left to do but give enough time for your actions to run it course. It fits nicely with "surrendering to the will of God", a definition of Islam that I just recently noticed in a new light.

It has been a lot for little ol' me :) Lucky I have good friends to help me along the way. 

A little two liner

There's no nothing than less, if I have some time.
There's no no one than me, if I have some excuse.

was published on Sept 15 '19, just added a title

There is no excuse

There's the B section. The spin.

I feel nothing, yet I'm spinning out of control.

There's no reason for me to love him, yet I do. Yet I spend regular hours to care for him, to make sure he has all his toys, to make sure he EATS, to make sure he finds his stuff.

It's not just protective instincts, I didn't do this out of the need to make sure he stays alive. Yet, somehow it is. I don't know why I do it, yet it is not important that I know.

There is supposed to be 3 spins in total before I end this short essay, but I don't have any energy left in me to spin 2 more.

I let the song arrive to the last part. That's fine. Just as I let it happened. I let him entered my life, and then left it as soon as he arrived. And now, he just occasionally visit me. We talk everyday, but he doesn't pay attention to me like he used to.

I know that he wants me to continue my life, but I don't know what it is, or why would I care to.

I do know why, I thought. I'm looking at her now, almost as tall as I am. I'll be strong for you. I'll be better for you, just enough for you to grow up.

And then, we'll see.

Mar 25, '21 2:30 am. I hate writing at this time. If I have to choose, I'd rather not write. But I had to.

songs: we do what we can (Sheryl Crow), fast car (Tracy Chapman)