Best quote of the day

There is nobody who needs nobody.
(Your Next Lover, Lori McKenna)

Forced conclusion

Knowing something, my immediate respond is to let it out, let it be known by anybody, everybody I know. I can't imagine living as a person who knows a lot and keep everything he knows to himself. I'd imagine I would want to share. Of course I'm talking about valuable information that is usable to better others, to help others. My first and only respond would be to share.
"By helping others, we are helping ourselves."
Right now, I'm questioning that virtue. Should I be quite instead? In free market, you don't tell others valuable information. You use it to your advantage, you let others take the wrong action and profit from it. It is widespread, insurance, equity and its derivatives, banking, simple trade or barter, commodities, futures, the list goes universally. You advantage of that information is your profit. It is the only way to succeed.
Where does helping others stand in this equation?
Faced with this conclusion, what should one do?
I don't enjoy coming to this conclusion.

Bayi nangis sebelum tidur, dibiarkan?

Temanku bercerita kalau dia membiarkan bayinya nangis dalam proses tidur. Katanya, sejak 6 bulan, dia membiarkan bayinya di tempat tidur untuk berusaha tidur sendiri. Kalau bayinya susah tidur dan menuntut ASI, dia akan memberikan air putih saja. Menurutnya, dalam selang waktu yang sebentar, bayinya akan terbiasa untuk tidak menuntut ASI lagi.
Walaupun takut mendengarnya, aku tertarik dan ingin mengerti lebih lanjut. Bagaimanapun juga temanku ini sangat mengerti mengenai manusia dan perkembangannya, kita dididik dengan disiplin yang sama mengenai emosi dan kognisi manusia. Aku hanya perlu mengejar train of thought nya untuk mengerti apa yang dimaksudkan.
Teknik tersebut mungkin disebut Ferber (http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc). Menurut Ferber, bisa jadi menangis (dalam rentang waktu tertentu, tidak terlalu lama) untuk sementara waktu adalah bagian dari proses tidur bayi. Bayi akan mencari kebiasaan menjelang tidur, dan kalau kita terlanjur memberikan ayunan menjelang tidur, bayi akan mencari ayunan tersebut kembali saat terbangun di tengah malam dan setiap saat menjelang tidur.
Teknik ini tidak sepenuhnya membiarkan bayi anda begitu saja untuk menangis, jadi aku salah menangkap konsep dari teknik ini melalui cerita temanku. Intinya adalah mengajarkan pada bayi anda bagaimana urutan-urutan kebiasaan menjelang tidur, sehingga secara behavioris, anda mengajarkan asosiasi tersebut. Bayi yang mampu untuk tidur sendiri akan dapat menenangkan dirinya sendiri saat terbangun di malam hari. Bayi yang memiliki kemampuan ini akan memiliki kualitas tidur yang jauh lebih baik. Kualitas tidur yang baik akan membenarkan bayi tenaga yang maksimal untuk beraktifitas di siang hari.
Berikut adalah tips dalam menjalankan teknik ini, yang secara salah diberi nama Cry It Out.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc?articleId=1497112&page=3#articlesection0

• Set the stage for success before you try a CIO method by developing a bedtime routine and sticking to it. For example, a bath, a book, a lullaby, then to bed, at the same time every night. This way your child knows exactly what to expect.

• Develop a solid plan and make sure you and your partner are prepared before you begin sleep training — both practically and emotionally. On the practical side, it's probably not a good idea to launch your sleep plan if your partner is about to take off on a business trip, for example, or if your in-laws are coming for a visit.

On the emotional side, talk the plan over with your partner and make sure you both understand and agree on how to proceed. That way you'll be able to support each other if you run into rough patches.

• Once you launch your plan, stick to it. Parents who've been through sleep training agree that consistency is the key. Unless you realize that your child simply isn't physically or emotionally ready and you decide to put the program on hold for a while, follow through with it for a couple of weeks. When your baby wakes you up at 2 a.m., you may be tempted to give in and hold or rock him, but if you do, your hard work will be wasted and you'll have to start over from square one.

• Plan to lose a little sleep. Begin the CIO method on a night when it won't matter if you miss a little sleep. For example, if you work all week, you might want to start on a Friday night, so you'll be able to catch up on lost sleep by the time Monday comes around.

• Prepare yourself for a few difficult nights. Hearing your baby cry can be excruciating, as every parent knows. During the waiting periods, set a timer and go to a different part of the house, or turn on some music, so you don't have to hear every whimper. As one BabyCenter parents says, "The first couple of nights could be rough for you. Try to relax and know that when it's all over, everyone in your household is going to sleep more easily and happily."

• Make it a team effort. During waiting periods, do something enjoyable with your partner, like play cards or listen to music. If you find the crying intolerable after a while, let your partner take over so you can take a walk or a warm bath. When you're refreshed, you can give your partner a break.

• Adapt the method to fit your family. If you want to try a method like this but find it too harsh, you can use a more gradual approach. For instance, you can stretch out Ferber's seven-day program over 14 days, increasing the wait every other night rather than every night. Remember your primary objective: To give yourself and your child a good night's rest.

Aku menjadi lebih tenang setelah membaca penjelasan ini. Jadi intinya adalah memberikan kebiasan dan kemampuan bagi bayi untuk tidur saat dia perlu tidur. Kalau berhasil, bayi ini akan memiliki kualitas tidur jauh lebih baik dari kami berdua (kami memiliki kemampuan yang lumayan buruk untuk menenangkan diri sendiri sebelum tidur. Kami tidak menangis sebelum tidur, namun kami kesulitan untuk tidur. Aku selalu terganggu dengan sudden rush of ideas, jadi kemampuan ini sangat kuhargai. Akupun akan belajar untuk menguasai teknik ini.

Best quote today

You play the cards you're dealt with.

I don't know why you love me

Finally found Tuck Andress' "Betcha by Golly Wow". Found out that that song makes me miss Dedet (she's 3 feet away from where I'm typing, sleeping).
Things calming down, I finally found myself feeling really guilty with my guitar. Not any particular guitar, but the fact that I stopped playing guitar for a while. Things was so awful in my life, I tried to blame it on "the guitar". Things are better now, finding out that I miss the guitar showed me something in the past that I still would like to carry around with me. I hope I can get my hands on my small guitar at Utan soon, I could use the exercise.
I also miss Dee. Wonder what she's doing right now. 1995 was 13 years ago, so much has happened. I'm glad she visited me three years ago (has it been that long?)